Depression and PMS

Hormones play a significant role in our moods, and the fluctuation of these hormones can cause remarked shifts. I did not understand how profound this was for me until I was in my late 30’s, and had I known earlier I think it would have saved me a lot of grief.

I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but about a week before my period i get agitated, restless, upset, and NOTHING anyone says to me that is super close to me is right. Nothing. It is a change in my complete perception of reality, and it amazes me every month.

I do a number of things to help this – and you can look online and try different options / see what works best for you. They could include therapy, meditation, exercise, medications, diuretic pills, vitamins, and more. I say read about it and explore – find out what works for you.

The BEST advice I never got but wish I did – is write down when your period is every month regardless of if you think you have PMS or not and ride the wave. Watch yourself, your brain, your thoughts. See if you notice any different during the time leading up to your menstrual cycle.

I have strong feelings of suicide during this time – for whatever reason everything gets terrible terrible terrible. I am not talking about this stinks, I am talking about a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach of dread that everything is wrong. My faith and hope seem to fly right out the window.

But now instead of reacting to those thoughts (ok, I am certainly not perfect) I experience them. Deeply. Feel these terrible feelings and try to stay away from any addictive / destructive behaviors during this time. I focus on just getting through it and caring for myself along the way – and while I haven’t really been able to get rid of the feelings I HAVE learned how to ride them out.

I wonder what my life would be like without them – I mean, it s a week out of the month! It is disabling at times. But I stop myself from thinking this and try to do something to get that energy out (i.e. write and exercise and paint) and by the time the period starts I wonder why again did I put myself through that mental misery – of course the world will not end.

There is always hope and this too, shall pass.

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